Inguva yegore… zvakare. Ini handisi mutsigiri mukuru wemwaka wezororo. Ini ndashanda nenzira dzakawanda kwazvo mazororo mune zvekutengesa kuti ndianakirwe zvekare. Ruvara ini jaded. Kune avo vaunofarira seni, iwe unogona kudzora marwadzo ekare anonakidza pamwe nemamwe maYule-tide anotyisa mafirimu. Pane zviviri kunyanya zvandiri kutaura nezvazvo nhasi: Krampus (2015) uye Nyaya yeKrisimasi Inotyisa (2015).

Krampus (iyo ngano monster, kwete iyo bhaisikopo) yanga ichikura mukati mukurumbira pamusoro pemakore.

Kune Krampus mhemberero, zvipfeko, uye ikozvino mafirimu uko kwaive kusiko chaiko chero makore mashoma apfuura. Krampus ndiye anopesana naSanta. Ndiye dhiyabhorosi papfudzi raSanta, aripo kuti arange vakaipa uye oenda navo mudengu, kurohwa kana kunyangarika zvachose. Inoita kuti marasha aite senge ari nani, handiti?

Kuve fan of inotyisa, kooky, isinganzwisisike uye dzimwe nguva kunyangwe ooky, ndaifanira kutarisa aya mafirimu kunze kwangu. Kufananidza mativi maviri neparutivi, rimwe rinoshanda uye rimwe… zvakanaka, hazviite. Krampus (inotungamirwa naMichael Dougherty) ndeye mhuri iri kuungana pamwe chete kuzororo.

Mhuri iyi haina mufaro uye haina basa, saka pane kupokana kwakawanda uye manzwiro akashata pakati pavo. Max (Emjay Anthony) anonetsekana zvekuti anobvarura tsamba yake kuna Santa uye ichirova ichienda kudenga, nekudaro achiburitsa Kringle-dhimoni munzvimbo yake. Kusvikira panguva ino iyi bhaisikopo yakanaka.

Nhaurirano iyi yakanaka, mavara haatarisike, asi ini ndinofunga vanofanirwa kunge vari, uye mhedzisiro yacho yakanaka. Iyo nzvimbo iyo iyo bhaisikopo rakandirasa ini mashandiro Krampus anoshanda. Sezvandambotaura kare, aripo kuti arange vakaipa, asi munhu wekutanga waanotora ndiBeth (Stefania LaVie Owen) hanzvadzi yaMax.

Kunze kwemucheche, ndomumwe wevane mutsa uye vasina mhosva muboka. Mhuri inosarudzwa yega-ne-imwe, zvichitungamira kumagumo ayo anogona kubata sarudzo yeimwe nzira asi anosiya vateereri vachinzwa kubviswa. Nepo chimiro chaicho chaKrampus chichienda kune yakanaka kwazvo silhouette, hunhu hwechikara hunondisiya ndichinzwa senge ichi chaiva bundu rangu remarasha paKisimusi.

Iine chaiyo nyeredzi nyeredzi mutsara-up waAdam Scott (Piranhas 3DTony Collette (Yechitanhatu Sense), naDavid Koechner (Imba Haunted), iwe ungafunge kuti ino ingangova kurova-mabvi nguva yakanaka. Nekudaro, kunyangwe paine mashoma ma snickers pano neapo, iyo bhaisikopo yaiita senge isina vanhu vane hunhu uye munhu akaipa anga asingakodzere ngano.

Pane yakatarisana nemari yesimbi yakavanzika inonzi A Kisimusi Inotyisa Nhau (2015). Anthology yenyaya ina dzeKisimusi "dzakataurwa" naWilliam Shatner saDangerous Dan.

Idzi nyaya ina dzakasiyana dzakasiyana dzinounza iwe haunted zororo kubva kumakona mana epanormal. Ndakanga ndakapusa ndichifarira uyu. Idzo nyaya dzinotangira pachikoro chinotambirwa, chinoshanduka, Krampus uye zombie elves. Ndichiri kuvenga kubhenekera pamusoro penyaya nhatu dzenyaya (uye dzaive dzakashamisa, imwe neimwe ine magumo), ndinonyatsoda kutarisa pamiririro yeKrampus.

Ipo Krampus kubva kune yayo namesake bhaisikopo inotyisa uye mumvuri-y, ingangoita yemusango chisikwa-senge. Ngatirege kukanganwa, zvinongoranga munhu wese, kusanganisira vacheche. Krampus kubva A Kisimusi Inotyisa Nhau chakareba, chikuru uye chichena sechando.

Chiso chake chinonyanya kuzivikanwa semumiriri wezvakaipa uye iye anongotora ane mhosva. Kuti udane Krampus, mumwe anofanirwa kuzadzwa neakasiyana nemweya weKisimusi, hasha kana ruchiva rwekutsiva. Iyo nzira yakangwara kwazvo yekumiririra Krampus. Zviitiko zvehondo zvakanaka uye Krampus anotakura siginecha yake chombo, cheni yakasungirirwa. Chombo chega chakaringana kukuita kuti uve ivhu rako rezvikorokoza

 

 

Zvese mune zvese, ndinofunga izvo Nyaya yeKrisimasi Inotyisa inotora kumba menduru yegoridhe yezororo rinotyisa, uye ini ndiri kusanganisira Kuuraya kwaSanta naBill Goldberg. Iyo ine yakanakisa mhedzisiro, hukuru hwekuita, unotyisa kunyora uye neupenga unotyisidzira Kisimusi Dhiyabhorosi. Naizvozvo, mune nyaya yaKrampus v. Krampus, ndinotonga ndichitsigira Nyaya yeKrisimasi Inotyisa. Iwe wakasununguka kuenda.

Usati waenda, kana iwe uri fan inotyisa yezororo, tarisa kuti nei elf yako iri pasherufu ichifanira kuve panzvimbo.

Zvinotyisa Mahoridhe munhu wese!