Ngatizvitarisei, 2016 yanga yakaoma. Pane imwe nzvimbo kumusoro kweNorth Pole, Santa Claus ari kuudza maMissus kuti achange ave kumba mangwanani ano eKisimusi. Zvichakadaro, kumwe kwakadzika muBlack Sango reGerman, Krampus ari kupenya maketani ake uye achicheka mamwe mabirich switch. Ari kuzovada. Zvikamu zvakashata zvevanhu zvakaita sekusimudza musoro wavo wakashata gore rino.

Ngatizvitarisei kuti anti-Santa achange akabatikana gore rino. Saka, nenzira chaiyo yeHorror (unogona kuona runyorwa rwegore rapfuura pano), heano mazita angu e2016 Krampus Chinyorwa.

Heather Bresch uye Big Pharma

Gore rapfuura, paive naPharma Bro. Iwe ungafunge kuti mishonga inogadziriswa uye maECOs emakambani emishonga anodzidza. Asi haiwa! Mitengo yemishonga inoramba ichikwira pasina chimwe chikonzero kunze kwekugona kwavo. Chapupu Heather Bresch. Zita rake rakave rakafanana nemutengo wemishonga uri kukungura kutanga kwegore rino apo mutengo weiyo EpiPen yekambani yake, inoponesa hupenyu mushonga wekurapa zvinodhaka kune avo vane chirwere chakakomba, chakakwira kubva pamadhora anopfuura zana chete kusvika pamadhora mazana matanhatu! Veruzhinji pazvese vakashatirwa zvinonzwisisika sezvo vabereki vakaedza kufunga kuti vaizobhadhara sei mushonga wevana vavo. Kune izvi chete, anogona kunge akawana nzvimbo yake pachinyorwa. Asi paakaedza kutsanangura kure mutengo uri kukwikwidza sekukwira kwemitengo mumusika akazvimisa. Iko marasha uye switch kune yako gore rino, Heather neako ese Pharma Bros.

Boris Johnson

Vazhinji venyu muri kukwenya misoro izvozvi. Nditendere ndikutaurire kuna Boris Johnson, Secretary of State weUK wezvekunze neCommonwealth akaisa chibvumirano chake pamushandirapamwe weBrexit. Mutungamiriri wenyika, VaObama, pavakaburitsa chirevo kuvanhu veBritain vachivakurudzira kuti vagare muEU, Johnson, nenzira inoshamisa yaTrump sekutevedzera, akataura kuti pamwe Mutungamiri Obama aive nekusafarira kwe "Humambo hweBritain" nekuda kwenhaka yake yeKenya. Yakareba nyaya ipfupi, nekuratidzira kwaJohnson nekukurudzira, Brexit akapfuura uye maBritish akabva atanga kuona mhedzisiro yehupfumi pamwe nevemagariro, asi panguva iyoyo zvakange zvanyanyisa.

Mitch McConnell

Republican Senate Majority Mutungamiri uye anofungidzira mukuru, Senator Mitch McConnell weKentucky ave chiso cheanopokana Republican seneti yakazvipira kukunda President zvese zano pane kutonga vanhu. Vanhu vekuAmerica pamativi ese epasi vakakatyamadzwa apo McConnell akazivisa kutanga kwegore rino kuti aisazobvumidza kumisikidzwa kwekunzwa kweanosarudzwa neDare Repamusorosoro kubva kuna President Obama nekuti Obama aive mugore rake rekupedzisira muhofisi uye aisakwanisa kuita vavhoterwa ipapo. Usambo funga kuti zvakaitwa kakawanda munguva yakapfuura. Sezvineiwo, McConnell akafarira kuti imwe yenguva dzakanakisa dzehupenyu hwake raive zuva raakatarisa Mutungamiri mumaziso uye akapika kuti Obama haazombosarudza Mutongi mutsva. Kune vazhinji, Seneta ave poster mukomana wemasimba vane nzara vezvematongerwo enyika. Anomiririra zvese zvisirizvo mukati meiyo sisitimu uye akawana nzvimbo yake pane ino runyorwa zvakapetwa kane chiuru. Mune mamwe mazwi, iye anofanira kunge ari akatarisa iyi Krampusnacht.

Mufundisi James David Manning

Mufundisi James David Manning akazviitira zita chairo. Mufundisi weAtlah Worldwide Missionary Church paLenox Ave. muHarlem apedza chikamu chiri nani chehushumiri hwake achiparidza nezve huipi hweungochani. Zviratidzo zviri kunze kwechechi yake zvinoratidza kuponda matombo nzanga uye vakayambira pamusoro peMutungamiri Obama vachiregedza "dhimoni revanhu ngochani" munharaunda yevatema nekunyeverwa kune vakadzi vatema kuti vatarise nekuti "machena machena ngochani" anga achiuya varume vatema. Akave, akadzokorora kubvira kutanga kwegore, achinetseka kuti arambe achivhura kereke nemari inodarika miriyoni imwe yemadhora muchikwereti chaakatora uye isu tese takangomirira kuti imwe shangu idonhe. Chinhu chimwe chinoratidzika kunge chiri chechokwadi, Manning iri paKrampus Chinyorwa kune akawanda zvikonzero zvikonzero.

Debbie Wasserman-Schultz

Debbie, Debbie, Debbie. Zvakaoma kufungidzira, muzuva rino uye zera, kuti mumwe munhu angafungidzira mae-mail awo ehumwe humbowo. Ndiri kureva, zvinoda kupesana nemamiriro ekunze izvozvi apo WikiLeaks inodonhedza batch nyowani yeemail. Uye zvakadaro, Debbie akanyora akateedzana emaemail achiratidza kusarudzika kwake kuna Hillary Clinton mumusangano weDemocratic Party. Izvo hazvaizove zvakashata zvakanyanya kunze kwekunge anga achitungamira iyo DNC panguva iyoyo uye mae-mail akataura kuti DNC yaizosarudza Clinton zvisinei nenhamba dzaBernie Sanders dzekuvhotera, mukurumbira, uye mukana wekuti akunde sarudzo. Zvakamutorera basa racho, asi zvakabatsirawo mukusavimba vazhinji vakatonzwa kunaClinton musarudzo. Debbie ari kuwana marasha gore rino uye kushanya kubva kuna Anti-Claus.

Brock Turner

Wese munhu anoziva zita iri, handiti? Brock Turner, wekushambira weStanford akabata chibharo mukadzi asingazivi. Kuti awedzere kutuka kune kukuvadza mukadzi murombo uyo akatyorwa nenzira inotyisa kwazvo, Turner akagamuchira mwedzi mitanhatu chete mutirongo nekuda kwemhosva yake kubva kuMutongi Aaron Persky. Turner akatopedzisira ashandira mwedzi mitatu chete yemutongo uyo. Kazhinji isu takapupurira kusarongeka kweruramisiro uye zvese nekuti Persky akati Turner aive murume wechidiki ane hupenyu hwake hwese pamberi pake akakanganisa. MHOSVA? Turner naPersky vanogona kutarisira kushanyirwa naKrampus uye ndinotarisira kuti achazopa kururamisira chaiko.

Milo Yiannopoulos

Milo Yiannopoulos. Zvakaoma kufungidzira mumwe crummy munhu pane ino runyorwa. Iye wega anorondedzerwa mutungamiri mubato rezvematongerwo enyika e-alt-kurudyi, Yiannopoulos ndiye mupepeti wehunyanzvi hweBreitbart News uye akapa pasi rose zvikonzero zvakawanda zvekumushora. Gore rino, zvakadaro, akazosvika pane zvese zvitsva paakatungamira mhomho yeTwitter kurwisa mutambi Leslie Jones. Yiannopoulos akadyisa frenzy sezvo maTweets akawedzera kuwedzera kusarura uye misogynist. Jones akamira pasi kwenguva yakareba sezvaaigona asati atiza pasocial network uye pakupedzisira dutu rakadzikira. Mukumuka, Yiannopoulos akarambidzwa kubva kuTwitter zvachose. Izvo hazvina kumudzikisira pasi zvachose, zvakadaro, uye anoenderera mberi nekuparadzira yake yega yakaipa vhezheni yechisarura conservatism. Uyu mudhara anoda dzinenge nhatu kana ina shanyo kubva Krampus.

Ann Coulter

Ndiri kureva, chaizvo, ndinofanira kutsanangura izvi? Mukadzi uyu anogona kunge ari mumwe wevanogumbura pasi rose. Handikwanise kufungidzira chero munhu anomutora zvakanyanya. Anosvipa huturu hwakaipa kune ani zvake asingabvumirane naye, anova munhu wese. Anowanzo gadzira yake "chokwadi" kutsigira nharo dzake. Uye munguva pfupi yapfuura sezuva resarudzo, aibura vitriol yake yechisimba paTwitter paakati kana tikakwanisa kudzora dziva rekuvhotera kune vanhu chete vane vanasekuru nambuya vakaberekerwa muUS, VaTrump vaizokunda mukukukurwa kwenyika makumi mashanu. Hapana akange amuratidza kuti zvaireva kuti VaTrump vangadai vasina kukwanisa kuvhota, ivo pachavo, izvi zvaive zvechokwadi. Ehe, Ann ari kushanya uye hazvizove zvakanaka.

Iyo Country Music Association Mubairo

Gore rino, kuita kwakakosha kwakapihwa kumaCMA. Beyonce akabatana neDixie Chicks kuti aridze nziyo yaimboimbwa naDestiny's Child pamberi pemukadzi inonzi "Baba Zvidzidzo". Rwiyo rwakatambirwa zvakanaka nemapoka nevanhu vazhinji mutsoka vachitamba kuenda kunhamba yekumisa nhamba. Kana boka nemuenzi wavo chaiye pavakapedza kuombera maoko zvine mutsindo, vazhinji vedu takagutsikana kuti iyi yaive nguva yaizorarama nekusingaperi. Ndokunge, kudzamara mifananidzo nezvakatumirwa zvakakwira pawebhusaiti yeCMA uye vateveri venyika vakatanga ruzha rwekutsoropodza uye kutaura pamusoro pemutambi ari pachiratidziro. Panzvimbo pekuishandisa sechinguvana kukwira kuenzana, zvakadaro, maCMA akaita nhanho yavo napo kubvisa chero mufananidzo kana kutaurwa kwaBeyonce kubva pawebhusaiti yavo. Uyu ndi2016, handiti? Ndiri kusanganisira vhidhiyo yake uye maDixie Chicks ari kuita pano nekuti anga aripo. Aityisa. Uye kuita kwacho kwaishamisa. Handizive kana imi varume muchange muchirembera pamwe chete paKrampusnacht, asi kana mukadaro, munogona kubva pachiedza nekusaita kuti Krampus akuvhimei mumwe nemumwe zvakasiyana.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y1Y7h9heQjw

Chaizvoizvo munhu wese anobatanidzwa ne2016 Election Cycle

Muno mumatunhu, isu takangorarama kuburikidza neinogona kunge iri inonyadzisa sarudzo yesarudzo mundangariro dzichangoburwa. Isu takaona zviitiko uye takanzwa zvirevo zvatisina kumbofungidzira kubva kumutungamiri wenyika. Handina chokwadi chekuti ndinogona kutumidza munhu wese kana zvikonzero nei vachifanira kutarisira Krampus pasuo ravo kuuya Krampusnacht. Kune rimwe divi, isu tinaTrump uyo akavaka mushandirapamwe wake kutenderedza rusaruro, misogynistic, uye xenophobic rhetoric, uye tobva tamira tisina basa nekuita sekunge vateveri vake vakaita zvekutaura izvozvo havana chekuita naye. Airatidzika seasingakwanise kutora mutoro wezvaakange aita. Anogadza mutevedzeri wemutevedzeri wemutungamiri wenyika uyo apedza basa rake rese muhurumende achiita chinhanho chake chose kuramba kodzero kuLBBTQ + Nharaunda. Kune rimwe divi, isu tine Hillary Clinton uyo kunyangwe aine hunyanzvi zvakakwana haakwanise kutiza kunyadzisa, chaiko kana kufungidzira, kubva mae-mail kuenda kurangano vafundisi vachiedza kutipa chokwadi chekuti chero munhu anomupikisa anoguma afa.

Isu takaona vanoburitsa midhiya vachitaura nhema dzese sechokwadi Isu takaona vanhu vachisekwa uye tichiona iko kuseka kuchiva chimwe chinhu chakaipisisa sezvo kuratidzira kwakashanduka kukava mhirizhonga.

Isu takaona zvakaipisisa zvehuipi hwevanhu patakasvika Super Chipiri, uye pasi rose rakaseka uye musika wemasheya wakadonha pakavhotwa uye Clinton akamanikidzwa kubvuma kuna Trump. Isu hatina kudzidza chinhu kubva mukukanganisa kweBritain neBrexit. Gehena, hatina chatinodzidza kubva kuhushe hweRoma.

Mukutarisana nemhedzisiro, kuratidzira kwakapararira nenyika uye zviitiko zvekusarurana nekusasarura zvakapfura nepadenga. Nguva yedu yemberi haina chokwadi kupfuura zvatakamboona.