Kisimusi zvirokwazvo ine mafirimu ezororo anotyisa ekusarudza kubva, kunyanya kupfuura Halloween. Iwe une mukurumbira wako zviri nani, saiye Silent Night, Husiku Husiku series and Gremlins, dzimwe ngano dzakasvibira uye dzisina kusimba senge Krisimasi Zvakaipa kana chimwe chinhu chazvino uye chinosetsa senge Kuuraya kwaSanta. Asi iyo isina munhu anombotaura nezvayo kana kutomboda kufunga nezvayo Elves, bhaisikopo rinotaura nezvemukadzi anoona kuti ari chikamu chechakaipa (kusiyana nechakanaka) kuedza kweNazi kunosanganisira kuberekesa kwakasarudzika uye akadaidza maelves mukuyedza kugadzira dzinza revanhu vane simba, saka anobatana nevamwe shamwari uye dhipatimendi rakapanduka. chengeta Santa kuti uvatore! Um... chii!? Zvakaoma, izvo zvinoita sekunge rudzi rwekubiridzira flick mafeni angapengereka. Izvi zvine zvese zvigadziriso zvezvinonzwika kunge zvakanyanya bat-shit bhaisikopo rakapenga zvachose, saka vakatadza papi?

Zvakanaka neimwe nzira, havana kudaro. Haufanire kutarisira kuti bhaisikopo rakaita seiri ringave rinotyisa. Ndinoreva, chinhu chiri pamusoro peNazi elf. Hatisi kunyatso gadzira Schindler's List zvemafirimu anotyisa pano. Ndisati ndaenda mberi, ngatimbonyatsoiongorora.

Ropa rakadeurwa pazvikonzero zvinoera rinoratidzika kuva mudzi wezvinetso zvose, amirite? Teenage Kristen anocheka ruoko netsaona panguva yeAnti-Kisimusi tsika yechihedheni neshamwari dzake Brooke naAmy. Haungazvizivi here, ropa rakadeuka rinomutsa izvo zvinodanwa papeji yefirimu Wiki (hongu, inaro chaizvoizvo) “Kisimusi elf yedhimoni yekare.” Pasina chinhu chiri nani chekuita, kuve mbongoro yakaipa uye zvese, zvinotanga kutevera Kristen achitenderedza iye achienda kubasa rake rekumirira pazvitoro zveko. Apa ndipo panouraya elf mall Santa kuti firimu rizivise gamba rechokwadi remufirimu, Mike McGavin anoridzwa naDan Haggerty… munoziva, Grizzly FREAKIN' Adams! Mike mutikitivha akagezwa akadhakwa achangobva kudzingwa mukaravhani yake, saka unoziva kuti hunhu uhu hwakaibva nemhando dzese dzerunako. Sezvo asina pekugara zvino, Dhani anogara muzvitoro panguva yekuvhara uye anonzwa Kristen neshamwari dzake vakamirira vakomana vavo kuti vafare husiku hwese.

Imbomira kwechipiri; boka revasikana vanoverevedza muzvitoro usiku kuti vafare nevakomana vavo, vasingazvizivi uipi hwakamirira? Inonzwika zvakanyanya senge Kucheka Mall, ehe? Ndine urombo, hapana marobhoti anouraya pano. Ingori mhondi. Kwete Elves. Singular.

Ipapo ndipo apo boka revaNazi rinoratidza uye rinoratidza chakavanzika chaKristen uye zvavanoronga kuita naye, kuitira kuti nhangemutange yatenzi igadzirwe uye itore nyika. Kristen anosangana naMike, hanzvadzi yake yakatsveyamiswa zvisingaite (anomudongorera ari mushower… regai izvozvo zvinyure mukati), naambuya vake, vanodzidza chakavanzika chekare uye vanomisa hurongwa hweNazi uye zvachose. , nemagumo anoita Leprechaun tarisa wakagomara mukuenzanisa! Ndiyo ngano yechinyakare, yechinyakare yeKisimusi kuita kuti unzwe kudziya uye kupusa mukati mezororo. Nekudaro, ndaigona kugara pano uye nitpick yakadanwa nefirimu Elves inoratidzira elf imwe chete, asi ndinofunga kuti pane zvakawanda zve nitpick pano, saka ngatienderere mberi tiite izvozvo.

Mushure mezvose izvi, waizotadza sei kuona izvi? Ibhaisikopo harina rimwe remabhaisikopo anotyisa/anoitwa… aiwa, anoedza kukwana angangoita ese ari muno! Zvakaita sekunge vaive nemazano akawandisa uye vakaedza kuvapinza vese mukati, asi zvinoshanda. Iwe une huipi hweNazi, dhimoni rekare richishevedzwa, chidhakwa-ex mupurisa akashandura mall Santa uye musikana ane chakavanzika chekare kuti amise zvese. Mazhinji mafirimu aizoparara, asi Elves inokwanisa kuzvichengeta pamwechete. Hapana chero panguva ipi zvayo inonzwa yakaputika kana kuti yakawandisa iri kuitika. Ndinoziva, zvinoshamisa, handizvo?

Ndanga ndichitaura zvakawanda nezve elf iyi, saka inotaridzika sei? Kuve firimu kubva muna 1989, rinotaridzika zvakanaka… kwemaminetsi mashoma ekutanga unomuona, wobva watanga kuona kuti rinotaridzika zvakachipa sei, unobva watanga kuzvienzanisa nezvisikwa zvine mbiri. Anove. Kana isu tisiri kuona maoko eelf kana chii kuburikidza nePOV uye iwe uchinyatsoona chiso chake, unoseka kutaura kwake kunoratidzika kunge kwakamira kunoita sekunge ari pakati pekutsvedza zvachose. Ifirimu rakaderera rebhajheji, saka unofanirwa kutarisira chizi, iyo iyo firimu yakaibva nayo. Zvese zviri mubhaisikopo iri zviri pamusoro uye zvinosekesa, izvo ndine chokwadi chekuti wakaunganidza kubva pakuverenga izvi. Zviitwa zvinongori kuwanda kwekuwedzeredza kwaungatarisira kubva mubhaisikopo rakadai, sekunge vatambi vaiziva rudzi rwefirimu ravakanga vachigadzira uye vakafunga kuti, "Eh, zvingangobuda zvese!" Kristen anotambwa zvine mutsindo, asi vamwe vese vanoita kunge vari kuenda pamusoro kana kufona, sasekuru nasekuru vake vari kutamba stereotypes. Vasikana vaviri vanotamba shamwari dzake havana kuzomboita zvakare, zvinova zvine musoro kana ukaona izvi. Imwe yezvandinoda ndiKristen's nonchalantly zvisina basa uye nehutsinye hwakanyanya. Mutambi anoita basa iri sekunge ari kutamba Bond villain uye ini ndaimutarisira kuve chikamu chevaNazi vakaipa. Iyo icing pakike ndiDan Haggerty, anotamba zvakangonaka sezvaungatarisira Grizzly Adams achitamba chitoro chakadhakwa Santa angadaro. Anoisa zvese zvaanazvo mubasa iri, sekufunga kwaaifunga kuti uku ndiko kuita kwake kwekubudirira. Basa rake nderekunyanya kuratidza zviri pachena kuti iwe uone kupusa kwazvakaita, asi zvinongoita kuti iyi firimu inakidze zvakanyanya. Sekuvenga kwandinoita kutaura uku, ifirimu iro 'rakaipa kwazvo rakanaka'. Urwu ndirwo rudzi rwefirimu risina kana poster yefirimu kumusoro kwayo IMDB peji, sekunge vanonyara.

Pane mikana mishoma muhupenyu yaunozviwana uchikwanisa kutaura, "Ndakaona bhaisikopo apo Grizzly Adams anopfeka saSanta Claus uye achirwa nekare, yakaipa elf yeNazi." Kana mukana uyu wauya, ndinokukurudzira kuti uutore. Parizvino, uye zvinosuruvarisa, iyo firimu haisi kuwanikwa paDVD uye VHS inoenda ingangoita madhora gumi, asi unogona kuona iyo bhaisikopo muvhidhiyo pazasi. Kisimusi yakanaka, ndinokupa imwe yenzvimbo dzakanakisa asi dzinoshamisa kwazvo dzinopihwa nefirimu.

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