Hupenyu hwedu hwese isu takave nemweya weKisimusi wakadzikisira pasi yedu yakabatana gullet. Kunyangwe iri Burl Ives uye Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer kana iyo yekuzorora stylings yaNat King Cole, zvinogara zviri nezve zvihwitsi nzizi nemiti uye bunker-kubiridzira mari yedu kuita ino ive hombe Kisimusi!

Zvakanaka, inguva yekudhirowa mutsetse muchando, vanhu. Festivus yaive pane chimwe chinhu, uye isu hatifaniri kurega ichifa senge Phoebe Cates 'pops muchimbini kubva Ivo vaGremlins. Nokukurumidza…?

Kanganwa zvisina maturo zvisina musoro seMazuva Gumi nemaviri eKisimusi, zviite zvinonakidza zviri pamutemo. Uye zvishoma zvinokatyamadza uye zvinoshamisa. Izvo, kana iwe uchiverenga izvi, ndine chokwadi kuti wave nerunyararo nazvo.

Sei 'mazuva gumi nemaviri e Iwo 'Burbs? Sei iyo gehena isiri? Dick Miller, airatidzira munhu wemarara aida kuisa maoko ake paRoselli Plumbing pamukoto weko webowling akazvarwa pazuva reKisimusi mugore raIshe wedu mazana gumi nemapfumbamwe nemakumi maviri nemasere. Saka na kwete kupemberera Iwo 'Burbs, isu tiri kunyatso kuudza mumwe weakanyanya hunhu vatambi vakambofamba pasi kuti isu tinomushora.

Kwete isu chete kwete kuzvidza Dick Miller, hatidi kuregeredza chero kusazvidzora, kana. Saka simuka mune sleigh. Zviri kuitika.

Kutanga Mugovera, kuverengera kunogara gumi nembiri, zvichiratidza kuti inguva yekudzima. Regai ndifambe nemi mauri…

1st Zuva re 'maBurbs: Roll Iwo 'Burbs pakudya kwemangwanani uye ita zvaunogona kwazvo kunze-kudya Rick Duccomun. Iwe unogona kana kukanda kumusoro kana kupfuura, asi chero nzira, iwe une nyaya yekuudza kune yakasara mwaka wezororo. Kune iwe unotonga zvinonamira kunze uko - chinanazi inosarudzika.

2nd Zuva reThe 'Burbs: Udza mukadzi (kana chaiye mukadzi shamwari) kuti iwe unoda kumbundira uye kutarisa firimu. Ndeupi mukadzi angaendesa kukoka kwakadai? Ipapo iwe unosunungura zviitiko zvese naCarrie Fisher, kwete saCarol Peterson, asi Princess Leia mune iyo skimpy swimsuit kubva Kudzoka Jedi kusvikira iye awana zano uye akafuridza yako Nyenyedzi kana kuti abude mumba achiti anoramba kusvikira iwe wafanana nemurume waakaroora. Rangarira kumirira kurova kaviri, wozopa "Hatina yakadaro nguva."

Zuva rechitatu reThe 'Burbs: Kumbira kutora ambuya nasekuru vako kuenda navo kunodya kwakanaka kuchiteverwa neimwe yekupedzisira Kisimusi kutenga. Dzungaira kuti uvape nguva yekupepeta zvinhu zvingangowanikwa zvekupfuurisa, mirira kusvikira vave munzira nemushandi wemuchitoro, wozokambaira shure kwavo uye usina kuvabata, vongopopotera “Unoda here kutora izvo kubva muhomwe? UNODA KUSA kuba izvo kubva muchitoro ichi? ” Famba uende. Usakanganwa kugunun'una "Zviri shit chitoro, zvakadaro."

4th Zuva reThe 'Burbs: Chero ani asina nzvimbo yakapfava yaCorey Feldman haana kana kumbobvira ave nehukama hwehukama hwe'ma80s cinema. Ndoreva, Iwo maGooni, Mira neni, hongu Ricky Butler kubva Iwo 'Burbs, asiwo Tommy Jarvis anozivikanwa anoshandura iyo NeChishanu iyo 13th saga. Dzorera mwenje, rega Chitsauko Chekupedzisira bhururuka uye tarisira kuti babamunini vako vakadhakwa havageuri musoro wavo uye bludgeon amaiguru vako pavanenge vachipuruzira "Kufa!"

5th Zuva reThe 'Burbs: Kwete kuzokunyepera, ino ichave isina kukwana, asi zvakanyanya sekutenda kwako-senge mwana kuna Santa Claus, tenda kuti ichave nemubhadharo wakasiyana mangwana. Ingoremedza hunde yemotokari yako nehombodo yemarara yakazadzwa nemasaga mazhinji embatatisi iyo inogona kumira isina kuputika. Kurerukirwa kumusoro kusvika kumagumo emugwagwa. Hulk pamusoro payo kubhini, tora kutarisisa kwakatenderedza nharaunda, wobva wabaya gehena kunze kwetsvimbo. Dzokera mugaraji.

6th Zuva reThe 'Burbs: Kutaura chokwadi, iro zuva rechishanu rakarongedza tafura yehafu yepakati, asi iwe unofanirwa kutora mabhora ako muhomwe yemukadzi wako pane ino. Zuva iri rinogona kunge risiri renyu mese, asi kana uri wakaoma kufa, ndinofungidzira kuti uchazvikoshesa. Mirira kuti marori marori aratidze, wobva wabuda kubva kumba kwako mune mafiropu-uye hafu-kuveurwa kuchizungunusa chete chifukidzo chekugezesa nguvo uye vaviri vevabhokisi kubva muunganidzwa waBill Clinton. Nesimba bvunza kana vawana bhegi imomo rinorema uye rakanyorova zvishoma. Handikwanise kuvimbisa kuti unodzivirira kutaurirana nemupurisa kana murapi ane rezinesi, asi pakupera kwezuva, iwe unotarisa kumashure nekudada uchiziva kuti wakakuitira izvozvo.

7th Zuva reThe 'Burbs: Tora vana kuenda kuchikomo chemunharaunda, asi ita gomba paRadio Shack munzira. Tora mapepa epa walkie-talkies asi makonzo erugi asati abuda mumota, dzokera kwavari uye musina kana neshungu ita kuti tikiti dzizive kuti kana paine mumwe wavo anosvetuka pfuti pa "Red rover, red rover, rega Mikey enda pamusoro ”kunyangwe kamwe chete, Kisimusi yamiswa.

8th Zuva reThe 'Burbs: Zvikoke iwe pachako kune yakanaka, yekuvakidzana yekutaurirana nevamwe vanhu vausina kana kumbotaura navo. Ive neshuwa yekutora ndiro ye brownies - kunyangwe iwe ukavakanda munzira kana kuwedzera imwe zest nekuvaita mashiripiti disco brownies ndiyo yako yekufona. Godspeed. Iwe haugone kuenda, zvakadaro, kusvikira usati wataura chete, asi zvakashanda kushanda muhurukuro "Idzi dzimba dzekare dzinofanira kuva gehena kupisa, huh?" Wobva waita chokwadi chekusiya katsamba patafura yekofi iyo yakanzi "Ndine imbwa yako."

9th Zuva reThe 'Burbs: Kuona kuti iwo mashoma mazwi akachinjaniswa nevavakidzani vako anoramba ari iwo chete akambotaurwa, uye kuti vangangomhanyira mumba chero pavachakuona uchibuda panze, tevera iri rinotevera riri nyore asi rinobudirira Wana vashoma veshamwari dzako pamwe chete kune kumwe kurira. Zvino, idzi hadzifanirwe kunge dziri shamwari dzemhando dzakasiyana siyana. Kwete, funga shamwari dzinotyisa dzevadzidzi. Iyo mhando isina kana dambudziko kuudza vanhu ivo vangosangana kuti iwe scrapbook. Vimba neni, ivo vakanaka. Bata zvidimbu zvisina kunyorwa zvebepa kuti ushandise semumhanzi weshiti, wozoenda pasuo nesuo uchibuda…

[youtube id = "57Z2SxEuuQ0 ″ align =" center "mode =" zvakajairika "autoplay =" kwete "parameter =" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=57Z2SxEuuQ0 ″]

10th Zuva reThe 'Burbs: Iyo mhuri isati yadururira mumba yekutambanudza imba, koka dzimwe shamwari dzako dzepedyo (uye dzinosimudzira) pamusoro pemumwe champagne uye hurukuro. Chinokosha asi kuve nemaviri chete hors d'oeuvres - mbiya ye pretzels uye tini yesardines. Dill, mustard kana olive olive - yako yekufona. Ini pachangu, ndaienda yemasitadhi, asi sekutaura kwandamboita, aya ndiwo mazuva gumi nemaviri ako Iwo 'Burbs. Tevera mwoyo wako. Paunenge uchinge waisa mamiriro, ita nzira yako kutenderera mukamuri nechiso chakatwasuka uye uchisimudza tini pazasi pemhino dzavo kuti upe hwema hwekunhuhwirira, uchipa - "Sari-deen?"

11th Zuva reThe 'Burbs: Kana iwe wakazviita kusvika ikozvino, iwe ungangodaro wakaputira yako yezororo kutenga, mhuri iri pamwe chete uye hapana chaigona asi damper pane inodziya fuzzies yeKisimusi Eve. Asi iwe unofanirwa kugona kutaura kuti waedza. Gara pasi pakudya kwemangwanani uye kumbira hama yako yesarudzo kuti ikukandire pepanhau. Nechinangwa ngazvikurere iwe mu sternum kuti ugone kuburitsa Sanka kubva mukapu yako yekofi mhiri kwetafura. Pfuti dzakadzingwa, ehe, asi funga nezvekuti zvikuru sei munhu wese achanzwisisa kith uye hama mushure mekumira kubuda kweropa.

12th Zuva reThe 'Burbs: Izvi zvinogona kutora nguva, asi parizvino, ungangodaro uchitsvaga nzira yekubuda kunze pamhemberero. Ingo chengeta maorbs ako akasvetwa kwekutanga am-dramatic achienda munzira kuenda kumota kweiyo manheru yemitambo yemunharaunda yeKisimusi. Vhura musuwo wako wepamberi, danidzira kuti "Hei Pinocchio, urikuenda kupi?" Paunenge iwe uchingoti iwe wakadongorera mumweya wake uye ukaona kutya, kupinda muchimiro chakafa, wozoisa marara kunge waive nemwedzi gumi nemasere musango.

Saka isu takakukurudzira kuti usiye zvekare, uye kutaura chokwadi, tora Mazuva gumi nemaviri eKisimusi kweanenge mavhiki maviri e 'Burbs shenanigans?

Kana zvirizvo, dhonza chinamato chaJoe Dante chekare paNetflix's Instant Watch uye femberera zuva rekuzvarwa raDick Miller ramakore makumi masere nemasere.

Kunze kwezvo, ini ndoda iwe kuti utarise ziso munharaunda kwandiri.