Yakanyorwa naPatti Pauley

Kudzoka pazera rakaibva 'remakore mana, gamba risingafungire rakauya munyika yangu. Akanga achiseka, airatidzika kunge angave akareba mamirimita gumi pachiratidziri (kusvika kumakore mana-ini zvakadaro) uye aive nemabhora esimbi kana zvasvika pakukakavadzana neakasvotwa zvakanyanya, mhuka yemaziso imwe. Kuti shamwari dzangu, ndiye murume, ngano, kwete-nzombe inotora Gary Busey uye nhasi izuva rake rekuzvarwa.

 

 

Yakanga iri nguva ya1986, uye vabereki vangu nasekuru nasekuru vakave vakagara mumba yekutandarira yeimba yedu vachiona bhaisikopo randakaudzwa kakawanda kuti ndaisatenderwa kuona navo. Ehezve, ndiani ane makore mana-ekuteerera anoteerera, handiti? Ini ndakaramba ndichifamba ndichidzoka nekudzoka kubva mukoto kuenda kunzvimbo yekugara kuti ndione zvishoma zviono zvakarambidzwa paTV yedu yakarongedzwa kusvika wangu wekuyamwa wababa apedzisira apinda ndokuita chigaro padyo naye pamubhedha wedu une ruvara. Ndipo pandakaziva kuti ndanga ndakwira; kwenguva pfupi zvishoma zvakadaro.

Iyo bhaisikopo iri mubvunzo yaive Stephen King Sirivha Bullet uye kunyangwe hazvo ndaive mwana akaomarara akagwinya mumhuri inoda zvinotyisa, Silver Bullet kutya iyo inogara ichida piss kubva mandiri. Pandakanga ndave kugadzikana nembiya yangu diki yepopcorn, iyo nzvimbo iyo werewolf inosvetuka nepahwindo reimwe Stella Randolph yakaitika uye ini ndakafadzwa uye nekutya zvisinga nzwisisike. Ehezve, ini ndakaisa pachiso changu chidiki chakashinga uye ndikashushikana nemufirimu nekuti goddammit, ini ndakakumbira izvi. Uye ini ndaizoenda kunoratidza kune vevabereki zvikamu zvandaigona kubata iyi firimu. Asi mukati chaimo ndanga ndichirova bhurugwa rangu. Nekudaro, chinhu chimwe chakaita kuti ruzivo rwese ruve nyore zvishoma kune yangu diki inotyisa: Sekuru fucking Tsvuku.

Babamudiki Red, vaitamba naSir Gary weBusey, vakashanda segamba uye mutambo wekuseka mune ino nyaya yekutyisa kwemwedzi uye ndakazviwana ndichiseka zvisina hunhu pahunhu hwavo pese pavaizouya pachiratidziro nehunyanzvi hwavo uye zvinyowani zvidiki . Iyo diki yakapusa yeJack-Ass joke yaanotaurira Marty ndicho chinhu chinonyanya kunakidzwa chamwari chandati ndambonzwa mumakore angu mana Pasi pano ndinokuudza. Uye mukati mese bhaisikopo hunhu hwaBusey zvishoma nezvishoma hwakava rudzi rwemhando yeSuperhero mumaziso angu. Iye ndiye mukomana akapa muzukuru wake uye muzukuru kubatsirwa kwekusava nechokwadi pachikumbiro chekuti Tarkers Mills yakabata mhuka yekunyepedzera yekuuraya; uye kuti vana vaiziva kuti aive ani pasi pehove dzese dzemhuka. Akazvimba sei mukomana! Aitove nebara resirivha rakagadzirirwa ivo, kunyangwe dai zvaingova zvechikamu chepfungwa munzira yake yekufunga.

Kusvika kumagumo, zvakadaro, nemamiriro ekunze ekuvaka paHalloween husiku nemwedzi uzere, Marty, Jane, nasekuru Red ne kuhwina kunyoreswa kweMaitiro Akakurumbira, inguva iyo ichagara mune yakashata mune inotyisa firimu uye munyika yangu pachezvayo yakamonyoroka apo Sekuru Red vanouya vakatarisana naReverend Werewolf. Ini ndaive kumucheto kwechigaro changu. Uku kwaive kupera kweRed here? Iri gamba rangu nyowani richaenda kubatwa kune smithereens?

FUCK HERE !! Gary Busey akati inguva yekutinhira uye akarwa newolf. Ingo tora iwo mutongo mune imwezve nguva. GARY BHASI AKANYORA WEREWOLF. WWF maitiro anotanga nekutyora chigaro kumusana kwechikara. Ndicho chiitiko chikuru uye gamba rangu nyowani-raive richiratidzira iwo chipfuva vhudzi resimbi. Yakanga ine mbiri. Kunyanya kumunhu mudiki seni svetuka kumusoro uye pasi rooting yekufa kweichi chinotyisa segehena hofori imbwa. Iri ndiro zuva iro Gary Busey akazova gamba risingazivikanwe mubhuku rangu.

Anofara 73rd zuva rekuzvarwa Gary Busey! Kumwe kunhu, mumwe munhu arikubaya padura reYankees, Phillies, uye maIndia baseball makadhi kupemberera.